So life has ben an emotional whirlwind with work, church, barbeques, festivals, performing, family and breaking up! Before I get into all that, I will be opening for Soren at The Central on August 10 at 10 pm and I have a Jazz performance at Second Cup at King and Strachan on August 20 at 7pm.
I know I have touched on my relationship with “love” in a previous post entitled “What do you Mean ‘Love’ “. And I am just starting to appreciate and understand this complex emotion. I often write my songs and poems based on real-life experience. Or sometimes life imitates art and I will experience something I wrote about in a song. This definitely happened to me with my song “You Should Have told me” based on a book called “He’s Just Not That Into You” – ladies, that book saved me a lot of insanity wondering why certain relationships never worked out. I encourage everyone to read self-help books if they are unsure about what they want in relationships or life in general. I am currently reading about how to be in control of my finances because I need to get my stuff together.
Back to feelings…I recently came out of a relationship. I have had other relationships that were intensely dramatic and I can say that I have been infatuated twice , loved once and in lust a few times. This is the first time I felt like I was “in love” in a relationship regardless of any differences between me and the individual. I am sad that it ended because I literally thought that I could just sit back and be in bliss for a very long time. I guess God has other plans. Anyways I have gone through a million different emotions such as; shock, sorrow, anger, excitement that there is possibly someone else out there, anxiety and confusion but there is still a tiny part of me that thinks I will wake up and find out it was just a dream and I’m still in bliss. I literally feel like I have experienced every love song cliché. I allow myself to listen to these songs whenever I feel like it and I feel like my own songs will carry so much more soul because I am living it. I have a few shows coming up and you better believe that they will be filled with love and break-up songs.
I have mostly been listening to a gospel music but here are some of the songs that I listen to in order to cope with the emotional schizophrenia. “Love” by Kirk Franklin and GP, “Through With Love” by Destiny’s Child, “Someday” by Mariah Carey, “Can’t Hurry Love” by the Supremes, “You Don’t Miss Me Now” – Deborah Cox”, Goodbye” – Alicia Keys, “Run to the Arms of the One Who Loves You”-Xscape, I will Always Love You-The Whitney version, “Who Can I Run To”-Xscape, “Always Be My Baby”-Mariah Carey, “Break-up”-Mario, and so many Mary J Blige Songs. What songs do you listen to?
Feel free to check out my original songs at http://www.myspace.com/constancialule Also, don’t forget to check me out on August 10th at the central-603 Markham Street or August 20 at Second Cup-905 King Street West!!!