I have been contemplating what it means to  “love someone” and what it really means to me.  I use the term often to describe how I feel about many material things such as clothes and accessories as well as activities I enjoy doing but it is a little harder for me to break it down in the context of a relationship even though I am in one.

We are taught to treat others nicely and we are just expected to love our family unless we were horribly mistreated-even then we will have very strong mixed feelings.  I looked up love in a concordance and most of the passages summed it up to treating others as you would yourself.  The dictionary has several meanings including” infatuation”, sexual attraction”, “strong affection” and “selfless giving”.

These are of course just definitions but at the same time I wonder how much am I capable of loving others around me according to some of these definitions because I know that I am certainly no Mother Theresa.  I don’t give enough to the less fortunate,  I’m constantly think negative thoughts and I once thought the whole point of love was being able to be your self without any judgement or repercussions from others. In my opinion, we often hurt and are hurt by the people we “love” the most. I have been disillusioned many times and I know I must have hurt someone in the last twenty-five years(anything before two doesn’t count!).

As a consequence of past experiences I find my favourite people to be around are my family because even though they drive me nuts sometimes I know that we have this rich history together-no one else can laugh at the same silly things year after year or will defend my honour even when I am not around or inspires my own protective instincts or makes me tear up because they are graduating from school or left me a kind note on my iphone.  I honestly would rather be the first to leave this earth than any of them.

So it really bugs me when people say “I love you” all the time to almost anyone.  I often find myself struggling to say those same words to my own family and friends not because I don’t love them, but because “I love you”  to me has always seemed like  such a serious statement reserved for special occasions long trips away and serious situations . It is somewhat of a forced habit saying it often and I do feel uncomfortable  if someone I don’t feel the same way about says it to me. I am also skeptical about that fairytale love they sell to us in the media because there is no way any relationship including the one with yourself can be that smooth…not even the one with your God because if we go with my favourite definition which is “selfless giving”, we will all fall short at some time.

I am learning as I go along that love does not mean perfection but rather constant evolution.  To survive in this big old world we constantly need to evolve and grow.  We all need love and we get it in different ways shapes and forms but we cannot live happily or healthfully without it. I may never experience that constant bliss that Disney promised me but in the context of a relationship I believe it is possible to meet those people or that someone you could not live happily without and that is what I believe love is.

Peace, blessings and love!!!

Consta

P.S  I would love to see you at my Show on June 8th at The Central.  Check the previous posts or email me for details.

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